My Birthday

So I’m approaching (on April 10th) another dreaded year of double digits starting with “2”. And what a year has passed! Now every year, I tend to look back and say “phew, that was a doozy”, and this year certainly isn’t an exception. My birthdays have generally always been a happy day/weekend. Let’s run down my birthdays for the last couple of years:

2008: Went to DC! Saw my old college, hung out at my old restaurants and bars, saw the sites that I failed to see when I actually was in college. Unfortunately it was supposed to be Cherry Blossom time and that was an epic fail because none of them had bloomed right. Guess that’s something to blame on global warming.

2007: Went to New Paltz and stayed at a really nice B&B by the river, had massages and went antiquing. But that’s so silly, I don’t buy antiques. I just tend to go into the places and say “$50 for that piece of crap?” and the store owners roll there eyes and the other patrons go “oh she is SO uncivilized”. And I get kicked out and end up howling my protest on the sidewalk.

2006: My first birthday in NYC. Went to Tavern on the Green (overrated, but beautiful) and got an iPod. Oh and went to the opera (Don Giovanni!). That was a good year- the weather was perfect that day. (Note, it has never rained on my birthday and I continue to go to church twice a year to pray for that fact…)

2005: Was still in England at school and went to London for the day, had sushi and did the museums! Was my first time to London without my family and with a significant other instead and it was quite nice!

2004: Went to Citronelle, a really nice restaurant in DC where I didn’t understand what a sommelier was and apparently embarrassed my date by asking :-)

2003: Turned 21, didn’t drink a thing because I was still recovering from having my wisdom teeth taken out the week before! Was an interesting situation because apparently it wasn’t “my night” to pick the restaurant and we ended up going to an Indian place (and I despise Indian food). So ok that wasn’t the best birthday, but alright!

I don’t really recall ones before that too much… when I was 16 my Mom took me to London for my birthday and I remember it snowing on the exact day-- that was cool!

So I’ve never been into presents and big parties and silly hats and streamers or anything. My birthday blog last year actually stated all the reasons I was thankful to be here because I feel that birthdays are a day where people should be thankful that you’re here as well. For any gifts (Christmas, birthday or otherwise), I would prefer 100 minutes of time spent thinking about a perfect gift than $100 spent on one- it’s all about effort. Anyone can just pick up a cd or earrings or some stupid teddy bear or something, but when someone takes you to DC or London- now that’s nice :-) Maybe because it actually makes me feel that people listen to a word I say (if you’ve read this far, you’re probably one of them, so mazel tov) and take heed to my likes and dislikes and things I want in life.

I don’t see birthdays as a depressing thing. “Oh my god I’m so old, yipes, what have I done with my life?” I think that thought every day anyway, at least the latter part of the statement. Especially recently…

Now any of you lambs actually reading my blog probably know that Sarah was terminated/executed from her last position at Rutgers. While I don’t think any termination is completely one person or another person’ s fault, I can say with complete sincerity and lack of ignorance that I was 95% right in the situation. But whatever, it’s over and me complaining about name-for-dean-that-my-parents-don’t-think-I-know won’t get me anywhere.

It’s been stressful though. I’ve never been unemployed for more than 2 weeks since I first got a job at age 19. I often had this whole swagger about how I’d never interviewed for a job that I wasn’t later offered. But according to some of my bleeding heart liberal friends, our last president wasn’t so hot in the economic sector and now things are kind of messed up! So for a couple months now it’s been constant applying and applying, a few interviews and so on and so forth. But now it’s so weird with interviews. Before it was so easy just to be like “well you’d be wise to hire me, and it’s your loss if you don’t”. And now it’s “please sir, please?” I’m not crazy about begging… But you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

So it’s not just the natural depression that arises from being unemployed and feeling unemployable. The novelty of sleeping til 10 has worn off and the idea of having a 3 day weekend 7 days of the week is starting to get a little old.

Now I’m not going to bitch and moan about things too much in this blog because a) you don’t want to hear it, b) even if you did, I don’t think it’s fitting to discuss via public posting and c) this is supposed to be a post about my lovely birthday, not a “woe is me” session. But despite personal turmoil and traumas I’ve noticed something changing about New York in the midst of the economic problems. People in New York, at least in my experience, have always been quite friendly and able and willing to help. But now it’s different. Now it’s almost an “every man for himself” situation and people are having to watch their own backs instead of other people’s. This just isn’t in the workplace where you’re terrified about losing your job and you might need to do a little non-friendly competition with a co-worker to their own detriment. It’s in every day life because people are really stressed out! I don’t see the smiles and the kindnesses that I used to see and I’m sure that in my own way I’ve not been handing them out as much either. People are stretched as far as they can go and unfortunately, some basic human decencies and courtesies have disappeared as a result.

So my family doesn’t celebrate birthdays anymore (albeit a card and a phone call, but no presents), which is fine. Because if anyone actually asked me what I want for my birthday I think, honestly, I only have one answer-- ask me how my day was. That’s all I need.