Aetna

Now, I have no gripes about Aetna and it's service. It's provided me with reliable, continuous health care management for years.

But what the hell is "behavioral health"?

I recently got on a new plan due to my newly discovered career as a starving artist. no, starving student. no, starving person... yes that's it..

Upon receipt of my starving person's health care card, I noticed the indication towards:
a) medical
b) pharmacy
c) behavioral health

Ok this just pissed me off. We've all had our struggles yes? Oh you know you have. And you too. And your mom. And her friend. Yes, your mom's friend. Word.

This pissed me off for many reasons. Behavioral Health. The word "Behavior", to me is quite loaded. When I think of behavior, I think of elementary school. I think of the principal's office. I think of being sent up to my room when I was bad. I think of being made to stand in a corner. Not with a dunce cap though. I do that on my on voluntarily now.. It's a hott look.

I think of behavior as a word rooted in childhood and such settings. So for Aetna to tell me that Behavioral Health is something different than regular medical problems leads me to believe that Aetna will cover me for the following:

a) throwing rocks at people
b) sticking my tongue out at strangers
c) acting up in a movie theatre
d) screaming in a restaurant
e) whining how I have to go to the bathroom even though we just left the house
f) complaining that I don't get what I want
g) repeatedly kicking someone's seat/knees/feet on the subway
h) threaten to hold my breath unless I get my way
i) act up because my chicken mcnugget meal came with a power ranger toy instead of a barbie

The fact that all of the above has happened to me within the last month is irrelevant. Let's stick to the topic here people.

But behavioral health.. Are they trying to talk about mental health? That to me is considerably different than one's behavior. Someone can be a brat/pain/idiot/a*hole and still be perfectly sane. Because those things are behavioral incidences. So Aetna will cover me for being a brat and a pain? I should be a goddamn millionaire then...

It's just that it disturbs me that "Behavior" is Aetna's word for mental health. Mental health is a serious issue. One that I've struggled with and either you have or you know someone who has. So it's weird that it's termed that way with a health insurance company.

So what are my recommendations for what they should call it? I dunno.... Kooky Brain? Psycho WalknTalk? GooglyGoog? FailBrain? I can has medicines now? Jebediah Springfield?

Ok I digress....

But it's just weird that it's put in its own little category separate from so-called regular medicine. Who determines what's regular? I certainly feel that mental health issues are far more common than diabetes, thyroid problems and knee pain. While they don't claim the same commercial ad-use as many prostate or cholesterol drugs, mental health drugs are popular and extensive.. quite. Is it that no one wants to address this problem? I would call it an epidemic, but that would be using bad statistics. Epidemics, other than the Black Plague, are a fallacy. Serious. In all terms, epidemics, be they health, social, financial or legal, are all a result of a combination of media, propaganda, hypochondria and just plain sadism in the fact that people like to have things be scary, in turmoil and on-the-brink.

And I digress again...

I just find it strange that what goes on in one's brain is not considered medical. It's a part of the body, yes? And I would consider it a quite important part of the body. So why are problems with it diagnosed as "behavioral". Unless, of course, they are "neurological". But I'd like to know the difference between an organ that can give you a tumor or an aneurism or have a seizure or lead one to hear voices and want to be Judy Garland. Please keep in mind that I have never experienced any of the that. I hate the Wizard of Oz. Those monkeys gave me nightmares for years...