Wake Up Call

I’ve blogged before about dreams I’ve had. I’ve had recurring dreams for years- same dialogues, same people, same locations etc. I’ve had more dreams I can count where I wake up and thank God that they didn’t really happen, because they seemed so incredibly real and horrible. And sometimes it takes me a few minutes after I wake up to realize if they really did happen or not.

I’ve never been one for nightmares or incredibly happy dreams; I just have weird ones. Ones with talking garbage disposals and having that cartoon Pluto dog as my pet while living on a tugboat… stuff like that.

I had an incredibly vivid dream last night. I was in my old workplace (the one where I hated my boss) but in my dream he was the Dean of my school and for some reason I was fetching him coffee and doing menial tasks.

While doing such tasks, I kept messing up. I kept forgetting about turning in assignments because I didn’t remember ever receiving them (another recurring dream of mine). I kept making excuses for not being at work/class because I was sick and having an entire room of other professors go “ohh the whole ‘doctor appointment’ ploy”, mocking me. I was handling giant trays of food and giant class cases of expensive knick-knacks and kept dropping everything. I was doing library research and couldn’t find the right books.

Then my dean/boss turned to me and said “You really need to get your life together”. Wow.

When I woke up I was so scared that this dream had actually happened. And even though it didn’t, I can’t tell you how much everything rang true. I do need to get my life together. Now I’m not as bad as some people or as worse off as others. But I’ve made some mistakes and taken a bad road lately. You could call it stress/depression/lack of confidence or a combination of any of these three often helped (aka hurt) by a glass of vino. I fishtailed a bit from things and I am now paying for my mistakes. Which is fine. I don’t like to run from my mistakes or responsibilities.

That dream really freaked me out. But I’m still glad I had it. It rang so true to me, more than any other dream I’ve had in awhile.

Good thing, because in the dream I had on Tuesday I was knocked up.
Phew!