Brooklyn

I am in Brooklyn.

I am at a job interview in Brooklyn.

I am at a job interview at a school for autism in Brooklyn.

I am at a job interview at a school for autism that I thought was a Buddhist school in Brooklyn.

I am at a job interview at a school for autism that is not a Buddhist school, it is a Jewish school. In Brooklyn

I am at a job interview at a school for autism that this not only Jewish, but Hasidic Jewish.. In Brooklyn.

Now I’m not insulting any one’s religion, ethnicity, beliefs, etc here. Just to make that clear. Chill out, I mean these are good people doing good things and I completely respect that. I don’t want any hate mail now. Christ.

But what a way to conduct an interview….

First of all. Yes, have all the applicants show up at the same damn time. Nothing’s better to boost one’s confidence than to have all your competitors in the same waiting area.

Second, please, do not lead us to a private office or quiet area. Interviews can and should be conducted in a classroom. With kids present.

Third, make sure the children are screaming while the interview is going on

Fourth, make sure that you seat me in a cheap metal chair that will surely destroy my spinal cord.

Fifth, make sure the child is not only screaming, but screaming “red triangle” over and over... During the interview.

Sixth, by no means should you apologize for the noise or lack of privacy in the interview (and on a side note, an apology would excuse the situation because I do realize that space is tight at many non-profits...but the noise? really?? )

Seventh, when the phone rings, by all means answer it. No! No, don’t apologize, it’s fine. (oh wait, you didn’t apologize)

Eighth, in order to be extra professional, make sure to not give me a business card because naturally, I should already have your name and number memorized. From the website. That didn’t list it.

Ninth, when 'red triangle' gets old, make sure the classroom children (who are, by the way, 2 feet from me) just have a good old hearty tantrum.

Tenth, when said tantrum is occurring, be sure to ask me if I have people skills. Ignore when I say that I am not quite yet homicidal. Yet.

Eleventh, ask me what my strengths in the workplace are. But don’t forget that asking this question must be accompanied by tantrum + throwing toys. Nothing shows strength like containing ones composure after getting hit in the foot with a lego man.

Twelfth, again, don’t apologize for the noise or lack of professionalism. It’s totally cool. I understand that being a working woman in today’s modern world means all bets are off when it comes to common courtesy. Why don’t I just belch. You can belch too. We can make it a harmony. Like dueling banjos.

I am in Brooklyn.

I am going home.

It took me over an hour and a half to get here.

Fuck.