Living under power lines

So I got waitlisted by CUNY.

Waitlisting is like academia's version of telling you that since you don't know the maitre-d, and since you didn't make a reservation, they'll scrutinize the way you dress and the amount of money they *think* you have before seating you. Of course with schools it's all about if your parents are alumni, if you knew from birth that you wanted to go to THAT school for THAT program and if you fit into the quotas they're governmentally required to be aiming for and they don't think they have to shell out tons of money to support you. Naturally with restaurants it's a lot easier. Just go to Forever 21, get a shirt that looks expensive and slap on some Cinderella Club jewelry (praying it doesn't break mid-meal, because it will eventually anyway) and hope they think you're hot shit. I wish schools had bouncers. I met one once, at Marquee. His name was Verse. I really don't know if that was his birth name or his bouncer name, but I wouldn't have been surprised if it was both. But he liked me and he let me and my sister in without paying the cover charge. Yay. We stayed 10 minutes. What a stupid place. Didn't even see Lindsay Blohan or anything.

Georgetown also waitlisted me, for college. Snobs. Luckily GW professors, along with the students, were people who didn't get into G-town, either professionally or academically and were therefore thankfully far more liberal concerning a missed class or a missed half semester....
It kinda bums me out though. I mean, it's not like I'm vying for a spot in campus housing- this is not undergrad. It's a friggin PhD and I'm willing to friggin pay for it. You'd think they'd want to accept everyone they could- especially as my credentials are nothing to sneeze at, in my opinion. And it's CUNY for god's sake, not Harvard. Fuck. Not that'd I'd be caught dead in Boston ever again. Anyone who's not heard about Blue Light Special and his wonderful mother can ask me now...

Ahh but anyway...

My apartment seems to be where electronic things go to die. I'm not kidding. I've actually looked outside to see if there are strange power lines around or some Independence Day-type space ships hovering overhead. I've had my iPod, DVD player and most of my computer go completely kaboom this week.

So, inevitably, I had to go to Best Buy. I literally had to prep myself for this whole experience. I hate Best Buy. I really do. And my time there proved my point even further. It always rains when I go there. Saturday afternoon was no exception. It was a light drizzle, fine, but it hardened all the snow and made it wet and slippery and it was just gross. Fine. I go and I'm looking at the mp3 players. Since my computer is on the fritz and I have no idea when it's going to be functioning again, I am not going to try another iPod. I don't approve of the whole Microsoft monopoly on portable music, nor am I bright enough to figure out the ways around copyrights. Calm down, I'm not going for a PhD in anything science related. (proven even further as we speak, as I am literally airing out my cdrom drive, thinking that will make my NetFlix play.)

So I'm there and standing and standing and I refuse to seek people out. I'm there for YOUR commission, Mr. I-have-a-technology-degree-from-Touro-but-I-don't-understand-what-ambition-is. Your mom will be mad if you don't put in your share for the groceries and dog chow this week, Todd, so you'd better come and try to help me. Ahh ok here you are. Oh! Your name is not Todd, it's Dane. Oh I wish I could beat you up. fool. And of course you wait on the pretty girl first. Ok fine, Sarah has to wait... and wait... and wait...

I ask you, Dane, will this Sony mp3 (cheaper than iPod) play my iTunes? Yes? Sweet. Let's buy it. I've been here for half an hour. I'll buy anything at this point. And I get home and it doesn't play my iTunes. Not without me going through hoops and whistles and working with something called AACP. Sounds like a deaf people's organization. I'm confused.
Ok fine I'll rebuy the iTunes I bought. Whatever, I don't care. I at least did my taxes right and got a good hefty check from the government.

This doesn't fix my DVD problem. My computer of 3 years doesn't want to play DVDs anymore. I wonder what computer years are. I think dog years are 7:1. I think computer years are like 300:1. My computer is now 90 years old. Piece of crap. I'm putting you in a goddamn home. And not one of those nice ones with qualified trained nurses that turn you ever hour- you're getting the Philippine immigrants and canned prunes. Damn piece of crap sucking me dry. I'm not paying to have you upgraded or to have your many viruses washed out. Fuck it.

Please don't send this to my parents, they'd be so shocked. The home out where they live is actually quite nice, should they ever need to take residence...

I need a new computer too, for my overpriced overeducation. Overeducation is overpriced, yes, but I don't think overrated. Duane told me earlier that he's done learning, because he knows everything he needs to know. So of course I go all Marcel Proust on him and stated by simply saying that, that showed him how ignorant he really was. Then he told me to shut up and get out of his face or I wouldn't get my share of the $15 we won when we pooled for the Mega Millions. I love my friends.

Ew, there was this guy at the gym though who looked like the transvestite from Silence of the Lambs. He kept looking at me weird. I kept feeling like I should put on some lotion lest he turn the hose on me..... (see the movie if you don't get the reference).

At least Moses Stick man is gone. This buttfuck carries around this big Moses parting the Red Sea-type stick, stays an hour and a half on the cardio machines, refusing to acknowledge the half hour rule, doesn't get off the machine when you ask him to, has these margarine yellow teeth, talks with a lisp and is, must be, without a doubt, in my opinion, legally retarded. Of course people refer to him as the Colonel because he was in the armed forces. Fuck that shit. I ain't gonna kiss your ass because you know how to sign up for enlistment in your school's cafeteria in high school. Get into the Navy Academy I might pay attention to you. Those uniforms are hott anyway.

Abe Lincoln man hasn't been around for awhile. This completely confuses me. I hate facial hair. It's gross. Maybe on some guys it looks ok, but on 90% of them, no. So this one guy, perfectly nice, perfectly fine looking started going for this Abe Lincoln look and has now taken it to this Grizzly Adams thing. I told him I didn't like it. He didn't care. He was like "who are you?". Ahh, but I know his name now. So I told him, just for fun, that if he was going to go for it anyway, why not shave half of it off and have a half beard? .... He doesn't talk to me anymore now. But personally I thought that was a perfectly reasonable proposition.

Anyway, so I only have one other New York school option, otherwise looks like I'm moving to Philly! We'll see. I have until early May to see where everything goes.. Wish me luck....